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Our father, K John Kuruvilla, the last living sibling of that generation of Malaysians died on March 8, 2016 at 4.15pm. Mum left us earlier in 2008. Our ‘that generation of Malayans’ in Malaysia is now gone. They came as ‘Indians’ or, as Kerala Malayalees, because it was even before India was. He was 96; just one month shy of his 97th birthday on April 7, 2016.

I shared a message at the wake in our father’s final home; in Subang Jaya. Below, I share my last words of thanks to my dad as I saluted him in my farewell – he came as a Malayalee from Kerala, but died as a Great Malaysian.

Legacy book project

Jesus is called the Bread of Life. Scriptures also declare that Man shall now live by bread alone. The Gospel of John states that the Rich Young Ruler left unhappy because Jesus told him to sell all he had and follow Him. It was easier for a camel to enter the eye of a needle. Church doctrine teaches that wealth cannot save us, too.

For our dad’s 90th birthday, we the siblings and spouses launched a legacy book project to document and record as much as we knew about our parents. Dad wrote the first four chapters of that book about his journey of risk-taking from Kerala to Penang, Malaya. In fact, he actually typed the first draft of four chapters on his Remington typewriter; it now remains the legacy of that educated man.

When we, a few friends of the Marketplace Leadership Program, brainstormed the title of the book, our friend and wife of the printer suggested, “Why not legacy of a father’s love!” All agreed and LOAF love was born.

Then, when we asked some named friends to write blurbs, one of them asked the question from the draft of the book, why do you all say, F and L in capital letters. That is precisely the point; which love do you think we are writing about, our earthly father’s or our Heavenly Father’s?

One of those who wrote a foreword is none other than Dr Mahathir Mohamad. They were business friends, and Dr Mahathir honoured my father three times in his lifetime. First at my brother’s wedding dinner, second he recommended to the Agong for my father to be awarded the PJN which carried the federal title of ‘Datuk,’ and thirdly he wrote the foreword to the book.

This week after my father’s passing allow me to give a public and more complete response to the reason for the title of the book. The Legacy of a Father’s Love, or ‘LOAF Love,’ is really the love of a God up there, who loves us so much that, as Christians believe, He sent Jesus the second person of the Son to die on the cross for each of our sakes.

If he did not sacrifice Jesus the Son, the world and each of us would have had our wrongs recorded against us, and we will, at judgment time, be condemned before a Holy God to an eternity of hell fire.

Therefore, LOAF Love, as I call it is a human father’s love which is a pure and a consistent one, until the last day of his passing that was always extended to each of us; regardless of who we are or could have been. It is almost an unconditional love; even if delivered imperfectly.

Yes, they were not perfect but we are the full and complete beneficiaries of their unconditional love of/for all of us and we are today 35 to show for such unconditional love; 10 sibling and spouses, 18 grandchildren, and soon to be three great-grandchildren.

He saw only ours; the fourth generation and we did celebrate the same at last year’s Christmas 4G Celebration. We pray that we will all carry the legacy of such a love to all future generations of this Great Malaysian.

Finishing well, not in the well

Last week, I received an invitation from the World Bank for the launch of their group’s Knowledge and Research Hub in Malaysia on March 28, 2016. Zeti Akhtar Aziz, our Bank Negara Malaysia (BNM) governor, is scheduled to give a keynote welcome address and the PM of Malaysia is also scheduled to give an address later in the day. I am prepared to attend but have to leave by 4.00pm.

I wrote an earlier column asking Zeti, do it right. So far, I have not heard anything from either BNM staff or the governor herself; maybe, they have not seen it, or they do not feel obliged to respond to one ordinary Malaysian, even if an ex-government servant and her ex-colleague at Universiti Malaya.

Therefore, this my final appeal but now reframed for the sake of our passing generation of parents (include hers too, as it is only a matter of time) who fought to set up Malaya and steer Malaysia into the right direction.

Dr Mahathir Mohamad still wants to do that, and therefore, I have now no problems even giving my support as many NGOs do for the sake of a Better Malaysia. But my refrain is that Umno must been cleaned up and an improved non-racial model of governance reinstated. We must be steered into the right direction again.

My father finished well. What do I mean? He educated and graduated all his children with an undergraduate degree which he could not acquire. We have also followed his good example and are almost there, but not quite yet. We have our last four still to graduate. We pray they do.

He married off all five of us and all 10 of us are still walking in his lived model of good, dynamic and healthy family life with learning well in ‘how to have a good fight!’ The greatest value is to learn and agree to unlearn, learn, and relearn new ways; as he showed us with Mum; when she needed him most.

So dearest Zeti, I write this open column having experienced LOAF Love from our parents. I am sure you have, too. You see that is the most important and greatest value of our generation; that we stand up for the truth matters to make Malaysia truly great. Truth matters in modern life because social media and connectivity will ultimately deliver all truths and there is no way anyone can hide from truths.

So my dear, I will come and listen to your keynote address if I know that you will tell the truth about all matters related to 1MDB. If no one from your office calls me, then I know how things will move forward or lack thereof and I can still accept your invite but cannot be there.

If you remember, I once made a comment in your presence to another mutual friend, “TS, when did you overnight become a specialist in the Knowledge Economy?” My question and comment to you is: “Where do you think we will allow Malaysia to finish, if we do not stand up for the values and virtues of truthfulness in a world of greed which overlooks addressing real needs?” May God Bless Malaysia.